Is your anxiety being fueled by your diet?

In short, anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling of fear or concern.  For most of us, anxiety is related to stress.  It can motivate us or scare us.  For some, anxiety is ongoing and looms large in everyday life.  For others, anxiety can become a debilitating illness that fuels obsessions (repeated and intrusive thoughts) and compulsions (actions to help minimize the obsessive thoughts). Anxiety also fuels phobias, general worry, and even panic.

Most people don't know this, but anxiety can also be fueled by food.  We've known for a while that certain foods can affect our waistlines or energy levels, but did you know that food and mood are very closely related?

If you have a tendency to be anxious, here are a few foods you may want to avoid:

1. Artificial Sweeteners (sugar substitute): Most of the time we think we are making a healthy choice by reducing our sugar intake, but many sugar substitutes has been linked to lowering the levels of serotonin in the brain (the exact chemical in the brain that is thought to be linked to depression and anxiety).  Your brain and body actually have a difficult time recognizing "unnatural" substances.  If you must have something sweet, and you do not have concerns with managing blood sugar, your body actually prefers real sugar.

2. Sugar: Oh man, I just said you shouldn't have sweeteners, and now I am telling you to reduce your sugar intake?  Yes.  A little sugar is ok in moderation, but  when you tend you be anxious, you may crave sugar.  When you take in sugar, you increase your anxiety response in your brain, therefore, craving more sugar.  It can be dangerous for your mood, and your waistline.

3. Trans fats:  A greasy burger or slice of pizza can sure taste good, but greasy foods high in trans fats have been specifically linked to an increase in anxiety.  Healthy fats, however, have been linked to the reduction of stress.  Think lean cuts of meats, healthy oils, nuts and fish to reduce cravings AND to reduce anxiety.

4. Alcohol:  Yes, alcohol is a suppressant, which means it can help us to relax, however, the withdraw from alcohol actually triggers a stimulation response that can leave us feeling anxious.  There is nothing wrong with the occasional drink or two, but drinking to cope with feelings of anxiety can create a dangerous cycle that may be difficult to break.

5. Nicotine: Providing your brain with nicotine lights up receptors that gives you almost instant feelings of pleasure derived from dopamine in your brain.  So yes, in the moments you chew or take your first inhale of a cigarette, you may experience a very temporary feeling of relief.  However, nicotine is a stimulant that affects the brain.  Anxiety responses are also stimulating your brain, which creates only worsening symptoms of anxiety.  In addition, nicotine is highly addictive, and feelings of withdraw can cause you to feel worried or irritated.

6. Caffeine:  Another stimulant that does not help your anxiety state. If you are anxious, it is very important to use caffeine in moderation.  If you really enjoy your cup of coffee or glass of tea, that is fine, but make you are increasing your water intake as well.


Check out my next blog for diet tips to help improve your concentration, energy levels and mood!

Be well, my friends!

"You can be anything, but you don't have to be everything."

Today's title can speak to many different aspects of one's life.  At first glance, the quote, "you can be anything, but you don't have to be everything" may speak to perfectionists.  People who try to do everything...people who put too much on their proverbial plates (a problem with which I am all-too familiar).  But today, I invite you to look at this quote in terms of your relationships with other people.

Are you trying to be everything for everyone?  Do you frequently worry that others will be upset with you if you do not meet their expectations (either real or perceived)?  Do you feel that you are always going the "extra mile" for others, but then feel resentful when others do not reciprocate? Do you struggle to set boundaries or ask for you what you need?

All of us have some struggle with these types of feelings, after all, we are human, and most of us do not like the feelings associated with disappointing others. But, if you find yourself struggling more often than not, you may be struggling with some traits of codependency.  Codependency can be a confusing concept, but in essence the most you need to know is this:   Codependency is when your feelings, self-esteem and self-worth are almost exclusively tied to others.  Simply stated, it is hard to be you authentic self because you are working so hard to please (or enable) others or be the person you think they want you to be.

So what is wrong with pleasing others?  Nothing really, UNTILL you feel tired, sad, overwhelmed, under-supported, resentful, and isolated from happiness. You can't be everything to everyone.  You simply can't, so why are you trying?  When you spend all of your time trying to be what others think you should be, you are just going to end up disappointing other people, because that is a tough act to keep up.  In addition, your likely going to end up losing yourself in your attempt to be someone you are not.

So how do you break this cycle?  It is not simple. BUT, for starters, focus on the people who love you for you.  Then, set boundaries with those who are asking too much of you.  This can be tough, because you are likely going to discover who are truly friends in your life.  This can be painful, but not as painful it can be to your soul when you consistently reject your authentic self in a futile attempt to meet others' expectations of a person they think they know.

Pain is okay, you know?

When we know someone who is hurt, grieving, scared, or even sick, we have a tendency to attempt to make that person feel better the best way we know how.  Almost instinctively our responses, in essence, start off something like this "Look on the bright side..." or "At least you don't have it as bad as so-and-so".

You know?  That can be a pretty crappy thing to say to someone.  It's true!   Now, don't get me wrong, I know that sometimes friends, family, clients, and even I need some reality checks from time to time.  There is a difference between someone being negative and a victim, and someone who is experiencing their own pain. 

When we try to get someone to "look on the bright side" before he or she has a chance to experience the reality of their pain, we are only minimizing his or her feelings. It's as if we are saying: "Your pain makes me feel uncomfortable, so get happy fast so I don't have to feel weird about this anymore."

If people experience a death, it is ok for them to be sad about it.  If people experience heartbreak, it is ok for them to reflect on the ups and downs of the relationship.  If people are diagnosed with a disease, it is ok for them to be scared.  Quit trying to "fix" the problem for them.  You can't.  Of course you don't want to see a person you care about in pain, but you attempts to make them feel better only diminish their experience.

In my first blog I wrote about "No Feeling Is Final".  People who experience pain don't really have the option of skipping the hard part.  Through pain we can grow, and learn, and challenge, and become stronger.  Instead of futile attempts to take away pain, just support the person.  Tell them "I am sorry you are sad/scared/hurt/angry.  I am here for you.  It makes me sad to see you this way, but I understand that you are hurting right now."

Being there is usually the best you can do anyway.  So try your best not to minimize others' experiences.

Maybe you could handle it better.  I don't know.  It does not really matter.  What matters is to know: Pain is okay.  Give time time.

Sticking to Your Resolutions...or whatever...

Let me guess... you are going to lose 20 lbs?  No wait...you are going to quit smoking?  Or maybe you are really going to finally get organized?

Don't get me wrong.  It's good to have goals.  We need goals to help guide us in some direction.  But it is not a big surprise when most of us fall back on our old habits and patterns.  The reason this happens is because our brains normalize what we continuing to experience.  So, although the idea of getting organized is great, if you have years of disorganization under your belt, you stating "Things will be different this year" is not going to undo your neurobiology.

So what?  We just don't try?  We just don't bother becoming better?  OF COURSE NOT!  I just encourage you to take a different approach.   For example- if you are interested in losing weight, instead of setting a weight loss goal, set daily ATTAINABLE health goals.  Today, you might resolve to drink at least eight glasses of water.  Tomorrow, you might resolve to eat 6-8 servings of fruits and vegetables.  And the day after that, you might resolve to walk a total of 10,000 steps in one day.  

As you continue to follow-through with your small goals, your brain will start normalizing these healthy behaviors.  Once that happens, you can continue to work toward your "big picture goal".  In addition, since your daily goals and attainable, you feel good about accomplishing something each day, as opposed to getting down on yourself for not losing weight...or worse yet, just giving up.

You got this.  You can totally do this.  Just think smaller.  Remember, bigger is not always better.

Happy New Year.

No Feeling is Final

Friends,

This is my first post on my blog, and I thought I would take this time to explore my favorite quote I use with many, many of my clients; "No Feeling is Final".   I can't give credit to the actual person who said this because, in all honesty, I saw it on a magnet.  A magnet that is now displayed proudly in my office.

Every event we experience in our lives tends to be linked with an emotion (feeling).  Some life events can create so much pain, we believe we cannot go on.  Other events can create feelings of joy we hope to never see end.  However, most of us tend to fixate on the "bad" feelings, desperately trying to avoid any emotion that causes us discomfort. Sorry, friends...you don't get to skip this part.  But remember this quote when your pain is intense..."No Feeling is Final".

I always tell my patients "You might feel worse; you might feel better, but one thing I can promise is you will not ALWAYS feel this way...the way you feel in this moment of intense pain."

This quote also reminds us to cherish the feelings of "good" in our lives, because those feelings are not final either.  And although pain is...well, painful, it can help to make us strong and bring us to more intense feelings of joy.  However, becoming strong from pain is choice, just as it is a choice to become a victim of our pain.  It is no easy venture to choose to become strong from our pain.  It requires self-reflection, and sometimes a little outside help.  If that makes you frustrated, no worries...because after all, "No Feeling is Final"

Happy Tuesday, friends.